Why Am I Getting Back Into My Old Pokemon Addiction?

I’m 15 & 1/2 and when i was like 4-5 I got a game boy and pokemon silver for my birthday or Christmas I don’t really remember. Any ways I would play constantly and as soon as I could I would get the new pokemon games and I was into collecting pokemon cards. On my first pokemon game I had a lot of high lvls and my cousin reset my game and we didn’t talk for like a month I was 5. And in every game since I would always get like 200+ hours. When I was in elementary school I had friends who liked it but my middle school I expected most people to have grown out of it so I keep my obsession a secrete. I would watch pokemon on Saturday mornings and I watched all the pokemon movies up to rise of darkrai. Around the time the sino region season started I stoped watching but in the game i got 200 hours I collected every single last rare pokemon from all the regions and I have like 20 100 lvls and a whole box with Lvl 70’s which I breeded. The cards were the first to I stoped caring about actually a long time now my oldest is from 2004, then I watching the anime i almost stoped in hoen. And I finally gave up the games but now that I want to sell my cards I started watching booster box openings and I see all the awesome holos and reverse holos and It’s drawing me back in. I don’t want to though I have always had a lot of friends and make them easily and from all different social classes but I always wanted to play pokemon games instead so infill middle school my social skills suck. Now there good I’m ok I know everything people talk about so I’m not lost and I fit in perfectly but as it is stereotyped gamers are fat and I was I’m skinny now but because of that I never built my self confidence or self esteem not to mention I was always arguing with my dad. So now I resent pokemon because it did this to me but it’s drawing me back in.
SORRY THIS IS LONG