Is It Bad To Turn Down A Person I’m Getting To Know After She Tells Me She Has Herpes?

1. Take care of your teeth Says

   I totally understand your fears and how you feel. It is not wrong to turn someone down over an STD HOWEVER sadly about 90% of the human population in the USA HAS oral herpes (HSV1) which cause “cold sores” on the lips. There are 2 types of herpes….HSV 1 (oral) and HSV 2 (genital).
   Herpes is highly contagious BUT all you need to do is not kiss each other or touch her lip during the active phase. When it crusts over and dries out then it is safe to kiss her and touch her lips again. (don’t let anyone kiss you while the sore is active (not dried out). She can take a prescription to help heal it faster or use over the counter Abreva to help heal it faster.
   Sadly I didn’t know anything about cold sores when I was younger and did catch it from someone who kissed me with an active cold sore. However I got the virus once and so far (10 or so years later) have NEVER Had another cold sore. Some people have low immunity and get the sores again and again (I had a friend who would get cold sores on her nose every summer) and some get it and never have it again but are still carriers of HSV1. I am still a carrier of HSV1 and now know I would never kiss my BF if an active sore ever comes up again…i would wait for it to heal before kissing again.
   You are going to kiss and meet tons of other women who have had cold sore or get them frequently. It is almost one of those diseases you can’t avoid if you date. Just be aware of what HSV 1 (oral herpes is) and how it is transmitted.
   I suggest you read online about HSV 1 and HSV 2 to understand what it is. It is similar to chicken pox. I would suggest if you like her to tell her to buy abreva if she hasn’t tried it yet. It is sold in pharmacies and at walmart and helps heal cold sores faster. Ask her if she wants to reschedule your date until her sore heals up. Tell her to call you when it heals. And thank her for telling you about it so you know she isn’t playing mind games and so she doesn’t pass it to you.
   Don’t stop seeing this girl just because of a oral herpes sore because the majority of the population has this. However I would stop seeing someone who admits to genital herpes, HSV 2 because most people do not have that and I wouldn’t want to have that more serious version of herpes.

2. brown_sw Says

   No it’s not bad at all. It’s your health vs. her feelings to be perfectly honest. If you don’t want to get Herpes and she doesn’t understand it then it’s her problem not yours. You are being perfectly reasonable for not wanting to be with her because she has Herpes.

3. Person X Says

   it isn’t that bad… i have it… you probably already have it… like 50 percent of everybody who has it doesn’t have symptoms of it and the herpes you get isn’t that bad… just a cold sore once and a while, I haven’t gotten one since 1 1/2 years ago

4. GOD Says

   There are two sides to the situation, one being you don’t want to hurt her feelings…
   secondly, you don’t want to live the rest of your life with herpes.
   Which is most important to you?

5. If You Know What I Mean Says

   Go to a Chinese restaurant, get the people to put a message in the fortune cookie and when she opens it up and sees the message saying YOUR DUMPED just make a run for it

6. ρερρεяЬε Says

   Bad? It’s *ridiculous*. She gets *cold sores*. The *majority* of people carry the cold sore virus. By age 50, close to *90%* of people have it. *You*, in all likelihood, already have it.

7. Zit Says

   this sounds like Herpes 1 – extremely common also known as ‘ cold sore ‘ don’t kiss until it’s completely gone – no oral sex . No reason to turn somebody down unless she also has # 2.

8. Ken G Says

   Let me say a couple of things though I do agree with most of what has already been said.
   First, you are wise in asking the question. No one should engage in a relationship of any kind you are not comfortable with.
   Second, you need to better understand the difference between fever blisters on the lips or in the mouth and genital herpes. .The oral infection is highly contagious and for that reason one should be careful not to make contact with those infected body parts. However they are treatable and one can easily recover from them.
   If I were you maybe it would be a good idea to thank the young lady for alerting you to her temporary infection and agreeing to a casual date. Ask her what she is doing for the condition as you should be truly interested in this common affliction. Ask her what her doctor has prescribed. I’m sure she would like to assure you she has it under control.
   Just remember there are several kinds of herpes and and what is in the mouth is very very common and easily treatable. Do a google search on the subject. She will respect you for being knowledgeable and understanding.

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